Why do we wait for bands? Are we groupies?

I felt for a long time that I must write about this topic, since way too many people confuse girls being on an afterparty and having beers with musicians with girls being groupies and sleeping with musicians.

You know the girls (sometimes boys) who go to the bar for their last beer when the venue is already closing, sit around with ther coat already retrieved from the cloakroom, and wait for something to happen, for the musicians to come out for a few photos and possibly more. But why do  they do it? The answer is twofold. Touring musicians are a bunch of guys who have lot of international experience and fun stories to share. Believe me. Of course, they are just like people and common guys like us, and like to be treated that way, but it is out of question that they have many wild stories and interesting stuff  to say. They want to spend the night in company with some beers and new people, and so do the girls, so it kind of works. Many of them are great company.

The other big factor is the need for attention. I think the main reason for wanting to hang out with musicians is having a low self-esteem, or a crave for attention. These guys are and look cool, play on the stage for huge crowds, meet thousands of people, work with businessmen and are recognised for the valuable work they have done. Getting attention from these people is something  extra valuable. The fact that this guy, who is a musician, so already knows how to treat fans, and has much social experience, devotes his attention to you, you, who are (in the music business only!) inferior to him, is a great boost.

Of course, there is the 'dark side' of this. Well, not necessarily dark, but this is the side some people (more or less including me) despise. The groupies. This also has to do with the crave for attention. These guys are mostly locked with their fellow dudes for weeks, and well, hot girls do attend shows. Of course, not all male musicians are looking for free sex, I have luckily encountered such situations numerous times, where, the guys too, only wanted a fun night with beers and laughs. Anyway, I just can't imagine how can tourbus sex or backstage sex be nice, comfortable, all that in very very small places and with lack of privacy, but none of my business... So there is the guys + the girls who pretty much signal to them that they are up for some. They partly do this so that the next day they can tell their friends 'I slept with X from this and this band, whoah'. What differentiates this from simple one-night stands is, that the ego boost of it is much bigger, it becomes a more worthy story. I have seen many things, and yes, these happen, but it is not so common, and doesn't necessarily involve sex. If nobody regrets anything, not even weeks after, then it is all good, I guess. I will still never understand how can it be ok for the soul to know that 'he was so special for me, and I am just one of the many for him'...

Of course I cannot analyse a groupie's soul, I am not an expert, but I think this is it mostly. But I know of 'fangirling', and I cannot highlight more: on workdays we hangout with our close friends, but after concerts, we do like to chat with open and experienced tour musicians, because the ones who do stay outside to hang out are super friendly, open, offer some booze, have the same on their minds: to party, and they speak different languages, are lovers of their hobby, and yes, we do like the attention and it is always nice being around achieved persons. And believe me, a huge part of musicians, who only get sentences like 'omg i love you can i get a picture' 'sign my shirt' 'sign my cd' 'sign my ticket' 'sign my notebook' 'sign my piece of paper' can be really thankful for some actual 'human' and personal words, in the rush of the tour.